About six months ago I was sitting around a dining table with friends and I made an announcement that I had a deep confession to make. All friends diverted their attention to me and listened carefully as I admitted that I had never, not even once, finished an entire tube of Chapstick. What had happened to all of tubes? I acquire at least two dozen a year between buying them on my own, gifts in christmas stockings, and accidentally stealing my sister's or boyfriends. My relationship with Chapstick (and all other lip balms to be accurate) is similar to how my relationship with lighters used to be when I was a full-fledged smoker. I would acquire lighters left and right, usually by unconsciously stealing them from other people, and I'd never finish them - so what gives?
Ok back to Chapstick. Where did all the tubes go? Did the sock monster steal them along with all my missing socks too? Ever since this confession it has been my goal to actively use my Chapstick in the hopes of reaching the end of the tube. I am happy to announce that this Saturday, March 12, 2011 I reached the bottom. I was twisting the end of the canister and suddenly it kept twisting and nothing was rising. I stick a pin into it and it stopped.
New goal: to finish ALL random Chapstick tubes that I have in my possession, which could easily take the next five years. I will not accept any new tubes from now until then. Wish me luck.
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